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## Songs to be improved.

Post your original music here and receive feedback.
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TriforceMayhem
  Posts: 43
  Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2016 5:35 pm
  Location: Minnesota
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### Songs to be improved.

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Post by TriforceMayhem » Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:55 am

Dumping some of my good songs below.
Please send feedback and suggestions on how to improve them.
My last attempt at asking for what to improve on my songs had covers in it (cause I suck like always), so I had to select the 6 best songs without covers.

Attachments
  Rolling Back to Business.ftm
    (11.3 KiB) Downloaded 124 times
  Freefoot 1-1.ftm
    (3.34 KiB) Downloaded 110 times
  Deserted Gun Yard.ftm
    (3.9 KiB) Downloaded 121 times
  Crash Landing.ftm
    (2.84 KiB) Downloaded 111 times
  Pancake Flippin' Platforming.ftm
    (3.3 KiB) Downloaded 103 times
  Midnight Ride.ftm
    (2.76 KiB) Downloaded 111 times

Last edited by TriforceMayhem on Thu Jan 05, 2017 3:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
my music is ok.
I'm here as well: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDS08netl2Cb9AUagK-TpDw/
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ZachJac
  Posts: 33
  Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:07 am
  Location: USA

### Re: Sogns to be improved.

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Post by ZachJac » Wed Jan 04, 2017 3:04 am

I don't have the time atm to give full criticism on all your songs, but I'll edit this post when I get the chance to. In the meantime, I'll say that out these 6 songs Midnight ride holds the most potential, as it has a pretty decent melody. I'll expand more on my thoughts later..
EDIT:
Rolling Back to Business:
This one's a little all over the place. Your melody doesn't really have anything about it that makes it appealing, and the second pulse channel isn't really utilized to the extent that it could be, as it often plays notes that don't mesh well with the melody or are exactly the same notes as pulse 1(you typically want to avoid that unless you have one channel detuned a bit). Your triangle channel just kind of does it's own thing, not really sticking to the rest of the song.. try creating a bassline with it instead. Your percussion is fairly basic, which isn't always a bad thing, but in this case it could definitely benefit from a more complex pattern, as to not make the song feel too monotonous. You could start by using those DPCM samples more sparingly, and canning the original, evenly-spaced drum hits you have and replacing it with something more diverse, like this:

Drums.ftm
  (10.02 KiB) Downloaded 95 times

Freefoot 1-1:
This is a bit better than the previous one. The melody kind of has an ominous, depressing tone to it, which gives it a nice personality. However, your pulse 1 doesn't fit well with the melody. Try redoing it, and make sure that it flows with the rest of the song and stays within your key signature. Same goes for your triangle bass you have. And even though you use the MMC5 chip, it's not really utilized to it's full potential. You should probably either use it more, or omit the chip completely. I'd recommend the latter, as it wouldn't subtract too much from the overall piece. With some changes, this could be a legitimately good song.
Deserted Gun Yard:
This one has a catchy motif going at the beginning that sounds pretty nice! You definitely have something going on this one. However, I feel like you just copy+pasted this on to way too many channels, and by the time the melody kicks in, this motif is playing on 4 different channels, with little to no variation. This not only makes the notes clash and unappealing, but it also constricts your channels you have available for other things you might want to add, and that's your biggest problem here- this song only consists of that motif, some percussion, and a melody. It makes for a hollow- sounding piece, with not very much going on other than those 3 things. But hope is far from lost- you've got a good foundation, now you need a good structure. If you plan on keeping the motif going on throughout the entire song, try to keep it to just one channel, maybe 2. Add a bassline, and you've got the essentials!
Crash Landing:
This doesn't really have too much going for it. Your bass is OK, but it never changes in any of the song. Your percussion sounds like it's offset from the rest of the song by a bit, but that could easily be fixed. Your melody doesn't really go anywhere, and the 0xx effect makes it loud and unappealing. I'd probably start with a clean slate as far as the main melody goes, and make sure that it fits with your bass and is in the same key signature.
Pancake Flippin' Platforming:
This one is pretty short, so I won't have as much to say about it- It's pretty basic, but the half-step-up half-step-down pattern doesn't really come across as too interesting.. perhaps it could become something more if you add on to it.
Midnight Ride:
Personally, I think this has the most potential out of all 6 of these. The melody you have for the first two frames is great, and your choice of percussion actually makes it sound like a midnight ride, reminding me of the pounding of horse hooves on the ground. Your triangle could use some redoing, it doesn't really fit with the melody. Unfortunately, your melody kind of loses most of it's interesting aspects after the second frame, so I'd redo those parts following it. Also, make use of that second pulse channel. Use it for an echo, harmony, or a combination of the two. When using such a limited amount of channels, there's no good reason to leave one unused. Definitely see possibilities in this. Hope to see what you come up with!
Regarding all 6 songs:
A recurring pattern I've noticed with all of these songs is the clashing in some instances when two channels play somethings similar. When this occurs, try slightly detuning one channel with the Pxx effect. It'll help make it more appealing. Also, all of your pieces could benefit from vibrato, attack and decay notes, and minor tweaks like that. It's amazing to see what these things can do to help bring a song to life. Just make sure you don't use it too extensively or intensively. And if you haven't already, try to learn music theory. It'll help you understand the music world a lot better, and is just good knowledge to have in any music environment. Anyways, good luck on your songs! I hope to hear what else you make in the future!
Wow.. that was a lot.. Hope this helped.
Ha! You just wasted your time trying to read this tiny text!
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